meeat mashine

meeatmashin

them meeat fellas hav don it agen! they opend a nother restrant. it good for them cos every1 always sayin how fellas havnt got any money an so we gonna hav to eeat insects an got 3 jobs an my mums gona hav to let all her frends sleep in her bed cos they got no beds of ther own an stuff. so it gud that they havin a fun tim cookin burgrs an an stuf cos it not only tha we got no money but also it janury an it cold an so fellas evrywher ar angry an if yuo go on twitster (like i do ALOT cos i got a LOT of frends ther who arnt lik my frens in reeal life so they arnt always callin me an sayin “yugnich i thik yuo left yuor leeather string vest chaps at my huose” or “yugnich yuor skatbording skills arnt very gud” or “yugnich is my dad at yuor mums house agen?!?” an then laugh some an then hang up an i normly shuot “FLIP OFF BRAD!!” cos i kno i din leeav my chaps ruond his house an obviously my skarbord skils ar THE BOMB an his dad dosnt come ruond to visit my mum anymor cos last tim he cam ruond i drawn a pic of him wich was very funny so tha when i drawd it i laugd so much tha a lil bit of wee came out an then he got mad an sed “THAT IS NOT A NICE DRAWiN YUGNICH!! wat is tha smell?. yugnich yuor jeeans ar completly coverd in muck. why ar yuo weearing my trousers?”) fellas always complainin abuot thins lik burgers existin an peeopl takin photos of sanwichs an how to mak the bes hats made of chees an othr importnt thins lik tha. so it nic tha them meeat fellas don a nothr plac.

the new 1 is calld meeat mashin an it in a plac wich isn so eeasy to find an so i thik it used to be a job centr cos it hidden an yuo hav to go thruogh som scary doors an ther no so many windows but thers los of tabls an when i got ther them fellas recognisd me instantly an so they sed “com her wud yuo lik a tabl for 1?” but i din notic cos i was alreeady siting down wherevr i feel lik it.

then i aksed for the biggst beer tha they cud do cos i was thirsy cos i was imagining differnt freerunnin moves i cud do in ther (lots. obviusly) an so they bruoght me a nic beer in a upside down watr cooler bottle. i tried to drink it tho but it only had a lil handl from a teeacup so i pickd it up an it fel down an broke evrywher an then evry1 lauged an sed “oh yugnich. wat a josher.” an i lauged a lot as wel but it was also very sore cos a LOT of glas went into my foot an i had to hide it by puttin my foot in my backpack wich workd a treeat cos it is a camo backpack (obvs.)

then i had sum lil chix strips wich wer all mushy an coverd in salt an vinegr crisps an ketchup wich wer prety good an then i had a burger wich was long lika subway an had sum nic lil onions in it an sum brown soup an sum mayonase wich i thik was rancid cos i at tha whol thin an it made my eyes sor an my nose hurt an my throat feel lik i was eeatin sum fire. then i was finishd an i put sum mony on the tabl an startd to leeave but fellas were callin me tryin to get me to stay sayin thins lik “excuse me, do yuo know yuor foot is in yuor bag? why is ther so much blood aruond yuor table? are youo okay? mayb yuo shuldnt leeav yet. yuo shuold cleean up this mess. wow yuo look reeal musly like yuo cud do ALOT of push ups!!” i not sure abuot the last 1 cos i cudnt reealy heear anythin anymor cos i was feelin woozy an tired. then i went an got a trane but fel asleep for a few days an now im feel bettr an awake.

i giv meeat machine 13/28
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