Monthly Archives: May 2012

10 Greeck Street

I alwas lik to try new food jus like wen i went to the africa sushi plac serveechay so i was pritty excited wen i heard abot a plac doin greeck food. I nevr tried it befor but i thught i shold gone cos soon they gonna chop the country off of eu-rope an make it an ireland cos they cant put money in for when the U-N goes to burger king but they prolly always ask for the biggest meeal like a wopper or sumthin.

i prolly wuldnt go ther if it an ireland cos im not very gud at swimin (i think cos im a bit to muscly an i sink a lot) an I spend most of my time runnin an jumpin over thins so im not I don even care! i think blade trinity cant swim that much eithr (also cos hes muscly lik me even tho he got bettr tribal tatoos than me) so i don mind that much.

The Greeck place is called 10 Greeck Street an it a lil bathroom that sum fellas took over and said “hey maybe we shuld done cook our greeck food here even tho is just a lil bathroom” so they did it an now its quit popular but i din hav to que or wait or anythin. los of peopl say that yuo hav to que even if yu were spenser from Mad in Chelsee an good with chix even tho 1 of yur eyes is always look at a differnt thing to yur other eye.

Them greeck fellas were reeal nise an put me in 1 corner but they culdnt remember abuot a menu so they had to done writ it on the wall but not like graff lik my second favurit artist BANKSEY which wudve been a lot bettr actually. I aksed for one burger but they sed is not greeck food so instead i sed “BRIGN ME WATEVER YOU WAN DAWSONS GREECK!” an every one in the whol restraunt laughd an so i did ten press ups for evryone.

they gav me som lil fish snails in a pot noodle watr i think an had a lil bit of salamey with it but i had to suck the fish nibbls out them shells an hide the shels cos I din wan to eat them (i tried one an it was lik eatin a bit of glass made of a trout an my mouth started bleedin a LOT). then the fella askd me if i wantd to hav some bred to mop up my pot noodl an i sed yes, so he went to a bred cupord wher they keep ther bred cos they don hav a lot of money an bruoght me som.

then i had a sheep pile which was nise an had some green things with it and then i had a chocolat cake which was nice but they by mistak put los of salt on it insted of sugar so it tasted like wen i did that with my cornflakes at my grandads girlfrends house an had to throw it in the drain wen she wasn lookin.

then i payed an it wasnt to2 much money so i sed “IVE GOT OVER 100 £ on MY OYESTER CARD” but i stil had to giv them cash money.

i wen home an listned to dubstep an watch the itunes visualiser for a few hours. easy.

i give 10 greeck street 37/49

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Meeat Market

when i was yung an I culdnt realy do that many push ups (i cud still done alot thoug) my favurit food was sand. Now i think burgrs ar my favurit food an my secund fav food is maybe a ice creeam or a egg. one of my bes burgers that I eat befor was from them meat fellas who done it at Meat Licker. I was real egxcited when i heear on Twitster that they was gonna open a new meat licker also in london so the first tim I got some free time me an my frend Grot Fishlip went to Co-vent garden. Ther actually isnt a garden ther, ther mostly just fellas pretendin to be status which sumtims i do wen my uncle is in the shower an I pretend to be 1 statu so tha he cant see me and then i say “BOO YUO UGLY OLD FELLA” an he falls over an tries not to cry.

the meat fellas new plac is calld the Meat balcony an its in the bes markt in london cos it sells los of cool things like lava lamps and cool t shirts and yuo can also get yuor name writin on a bit of bred. I went to Meat Balcony an I din even hav to que becus I think the meat fellas knew that i was Yugnich. Prolly becos I was wearin my cool lether jeans an wrap aroun sunglasses even tho it was rainin.

Then I fuond a seat whic was quite big an very uncomfortbl an I laughed cos I was prolly just to muscly for the chair. Me an Grot played pogs for abuot 1 hour (i won evry single game even tho he had a super pogatron an i was playin skyrim at the same time on blutooth with my P S VitA) but noone come to ask me wanted to eeat so i went to the counter wher ther was a pritty chik (thers only pretty chix that work ther which wud hav been gud but Grot was ther an he usully scares peopl cos he smell lik a fish cuboard). I said “IAM YUGNICH AN I WAN 1 BURGER AN SOME CHIPS AN SOM OTHER THINGS PLEASE!”. i had to get my own food but it was nice an the burger was full of juic an fell on the floor a lot an on my middle an fell apart into a bred meat mush that i had to eat with my fork.

i also had som lil sausage rolls an 1 chilli wich wasn very spicy (OBVIUSLY! cos i cud eat a gun an it wuldn even be spicy) an was mostly mad of old milk. Grot had a hot dog wich was like somthing Adram Frishman from Manveefood wud like. Wen he went to the toilet i ate it all an it was like a big mac but it had some smoky cardboard on it i think.

cos i knew he wud be mad i ran away bef4 he came back an bouoght 3 cool shirts with tie diE so i cul look like these guys:

then i put it on an listened to SKRILLLLEXXXXX YESSS!

i give meat balcony (them fellas says it called meat market (WTF!)) 13/24

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Dabooz

 

i din actually go cos they busy and i sent them los of emails but they never said i can come in. lots of big time food fellas say its good though. can i come pleease? i wan to eeat the smoky cow pile.

Norma the bes restrant in the wold.

on Monday all them big time food guyz got togethr lik wreslmania 99 an decided wut was th best place to gone to eeat in the world. this is real important cos sumtimes people don kno where good food is so they jus end up eeating scraps from skips if they don kno where the best places are. also its good for peeopl who run the restraunts cos they can clap eeach other an touch each othrs chests together when they win an shout “YEAH WE ARE GOOD AT COOKING!!” which i do somtimes when i make a reealy nice bowl of porrige.

the winner this year was a new restrant which is a shack in holland called norma. the chef is a nice little guy caled reny, who din hav any moneey when he wanted to open his place so had to steeal it out of bins an mak sum food out of grass an bricks and things. but then he had some money so he got a millionty peeopl to work for him so he dosnt have any moneey again. if i had sum more money i think id buy tron legacy on blu ray an a new chin up bar.

cos it was number one i thuoght i shold go becos Im a big time food guy so yestrday i aksed reny to come and he said yes so then i called rachel coo to come with me an she said yes which made me very happy. so i went to her huose in paris an picked her up on my scootr and we went to holland.

when we got ther i got the bes table that yuo cuold see over all of the country with and we talkd abuot the usual stuf lik who our favurit skatboarders were, how many times i watched the matrix on blu ray, what my favurit dub step song is. Juggalos. and rachel was very intrested. then we had som food. i din reealy lik it so much cos i din get to order n e thing so them fellas kept bringin things to me an telling me how i shuld done eeat it. one was a bucket of ground wich tasted lik a homeless guy slept on it all night. them also forgot to cook my plate of meeat an then i had to make evryone eggs (prolly cos they wer nervuos abuot me cos they knew i was YUgnich).

then i had to pay but they said “yugnich yuo dont hav to pay if yuo can free run and jump over our shack” so i did it and then did a backflip an they said “wow that is reealy good. have yuo ever seen the matrix on blu ray?” and i said “how many press ups do yuo think i can do in under a second? thats how many times ive seen the matrix on blu ray.” and they clapped and i wen t home an watched so free running and lisened to sum dub step.

I give norma 102/150

p. s. rachel coo din come with me and i din even go cos she is married an i don know where holland is.

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