thers always reeal gud places openin in London wich is gud, especially for bigtim food guys lik me an tha othr ones on the WEB cos we can look at all of em an say “GOSH WAT RESESHION? LOOK AT LL THES GUD FOOD PLACES!” an laug an then go to 1 of our fav pubs an talk abuot thins lik how to make a burgr reeal nice, or wat our bes type of chees is (not baby belL!, LOROLF!) an wher the bes plac to eeat in a ditch is. but i don always get 2 gone to eeat to them, speshially now tha ive been reeal busy at the pet shop cos peeopl need pets. but also sumtim peopl come in an say “are yuo yugnichgritkin?2” an i saw “wats yuor favurit movie with dolpf lungren?” an if they saw sumthin stupid lik “tha expendables 2” (wich isn even OUT yet but i seen it cos i got a frend at video box) then i tel themm to “bloody beeat it!” then i do sum press ups to show them i meean busines. the reeal answer is “all of em” or mayb rocky 4.
cos i don get to gone to all the restrants but peeopl stil wanna no abuot them i don sum pichsurs of the bigtim 1s that opened pretty rescently. this is them, they all look pretty gud.:
this is a lil plac that sum fellas who had a petrol station opend cos they don hav much money cos evry1 sold ther cars an buoght cool thins lik scootrs an bikes like the bigtim london fella bovis jonson. tha angry food suckr doubl A Gill went to skrimpy cos they got nic drawins an thins on the walls an doubl A liks drawins even tho he cant pick up a pen an has to do al his drawin an his writin an thins thru a app an a blutooth hedseat i think. he kinda like tha plac but droppd his burgr which had a not very muscly crab in it (i think cos he not very gud at pickin thins up). so then he calld for his bes frend jezza clarksun from top gere to com get him in the JAG. then they drov aruond an found rats an old cars to laug at. they 2 big tim JOSHERS!!
the trampshed is a plac tha the fella from the film UPs son MARK hicks startd in a ditch. at the restraunt they get a cow an a chiken to fight in the middl of the plac an then which evr one loses yuo get to eat it. but sumtimes the cow fella does a reeal good roundhous kik an the lil chix suckr gets blown to smithreens so yuo hav to eat the cow anyway. tha bigtim fud girl grase dunt wen ther but din reealy lik it cos i think she wantd to bring her own chiken calld NANDOZ to fight but she cudn so she said she wanted to eeat nandoz. they also got 1 bigtime art fellas stuff in ther. his nam is dringle hitch and i think he left his wallet ther. its reeal spechial.
this plac is a rushian plac in a lil rushan ladys house summwher. like most rushians she reealy liks dolph lungren cos hes 1 of the best rushians to ever be in gud movies and thins, so she put los of his picturs on evry wall. so it suonds reeal gud. yuo can eeat thins lik bred rolls an old fish here an also drink thins lik a vodka an redbull. or a V K orang. i don kno if they got vimto but if they lik thins lik dolph lungrenn they prolly got sum vimto. my bes frend J. Rainer wen ther an he liked it but he ate alllllllllllLLLL the food so he lay down an fell asleeeep. if yuo go ther now yuo hav to be reeal quieet cos them fellas don wan to wake him up cos he gonna get reeal mad an say “IM A BIG TIM FOOD GUY! DON WAK ME YUO SILLY FELLA!” an then ask for a bit of cake an he wil be okay.
one day i wanna go to them placs but i prolly won for a lil whil. so insted i giv them all 0/0 for bein existin and good. nise 1 fellas.