the other day tha fella Frelicks Brumgartner jumpd out of a baloon reeal high from tha gruond. so who cares anyway! crank 2 done it out of a plane an landed on a car an he DIN even hav a stupid parashoot or nothin! i was gonna do a sam thin once time wen i was flyin to sumwher lik italy or croydon or sumthin so i wore my best ooakley sunglases an a awesom camo leeather traousers an sed to the plane flyer wen i got on “im prolly gonna do a coupl of backflips wen we get to abuot 3000000 feet so jus let me know pleease.” i don thik he was very happy tho cos i was gonna be tha coolest guy on the plane an he din want that to happen so much so he tol me i had to leeav an go back home. then they took me out the airport an sed “why did yuo done that? how did yuo get in? do yuo even have a ticket? did yuo steeal these crocs from the duty free shop?” but i wasn reealy listenin cos i was thinkin abuot macbook PROS an how many episods of “NUNCHUCKS DIARIES 40” i cud put onto a iphone 5 if i had 1.
i was prety hungry tho an i heard abuot a new good plac that evry1 was think to lik calld duck wafer. its a reeal cool plac in the liverpool part of london an its in a reealy big hotel i thik. its reeal gud to get to cos yuo hav to go up a lift thas mad of glass an it make yuo feel like yuo are doin a crank 2 but in revers. wen yuo get up ther it gets even bettr cos thers actuly a cool bar ther an they made it look reeal nice cos they got a wal filld with aWESOME graf! it looks lik it from a SICK ed hardy t shirt or sumthin. thers also a lot of reeal cool cocktails lik the 1 tha i had wich cam in a big bottl filled with smok from a awesom motorbik an they give yuo a glass but it just a trick cos it better to drink it out of the bottle cos yuo look cooler even tho yuo cough ALOT from all the smok an stuff.
then yuo go into the restrant which i thik used to be a old dance studio (but thers not alot of space for dancing now. even tho it wouldv gon reeally wel with the graff wall). i sat down an said “can i hav a duck wafer pleas” an the fella said ok an they bruoght it over an it was quite nic cos it had a egg on it an a bit of a duck wich tasted lik wat if a chicken and a pig had a baby. they put it on a bit of cake an then yuo also get a nice sugar drink on the side to have as well. it was all ok but the sugar drink got stuk in my solepatch an now its stiky an smels real bad lik my fren Orleys groin patch.
then i wen to the lift again an did a coupl of brakedancing moves an thuoght that it wud prolly be a good plac to tak a girl on a date cos yuo cud say tha she shuldn be scard in the lift (make yuo look not scard) an then yuo cud tel her all abuot the graf on the walls (make yuo look cool) an yuo cud also eeach pay for sum of the drinks (so it wuldn be so expensiv to drink sum smokey brown glug from a reeal big bottl).
i give duck wafer 55/82