Monthly Archives: November 2012

dirt burgers

sumtimes thins lik restraunts is reealy confusing cos all sorts of peeopl don always wanna do smart thins lik go to eeat a pizza hut buffet evn tho yuo can get as much food as yuo wan, thers abuot a millon of them an it maks yuo ful lik yuo eeaten a hunred eggs an yuo won hav to go to the toilet for another thriteen days. i had 4 pizza hut buffets in 2 days once wich i thuoght was reeally gud but then my mums cuosin sed “why din yuo jus got twic in 2 days an eeat twice as much eeach tim an then yuo wuoldn hav to pay 4 times. only 2 times.” wich i din reealy thik abuot but i din wanna look stupid so i askd him wat a TRONKUSO was an he sed he din kno an i lauged a lot an sed “yuo arnt even a FOODIE like me yuo dum guff so wat wuold yuo know abuot food yuo IDIOT !!!!!” an then i did a ninja move rite neear to his face so close that it was like a mini hurrican of scary neear him an then he vomited on himself an started cryin an my mum sed “YUGNICH STOP PRETENDIN TO PUNCH THAT BABY!” but i was reealy listenin cos i was thinkin abuot TRONKUSO an the fact tha i don reealy kno wat it is.

my fren J. Rainer wen to eeat it the othr day an los of othr peeopl say tha its the thin tha evrybody shuold be eeatin now cos its cool an  tha meeans yuo cant reealy eat it cos evry1 else is eeatin it an yuo cant book tables an the retrants only have abuot 1 an a half tables anyway an if J. Rainer is eeatin ther then most of the tables will be being used anyway cos of his hair. in new york it is bettr becaus fellas lik gruy Frieery kno abuot gud thins an open restants with a millon seeats wich is gud becaus it meeans i can bring in my scootr an also a bag of bred an stuf. i din get to eeat TRONJUSO cos of all these reeasons. also cos i don kno wat it is. i think its a smal bag of crisps or sumthin.

insted i wen to eeat sum burgers cos they ar stil gud an all the fellas kno this so we gonna hav A LOT MOre bugr places open in london (yesssssssssssssssssssss). i wen to 1 calld dirt burgr wich is in a lil car park an is a cool lil sauna wit a big tabl in the  middl wich wud be perfect for sum brakdansin if ther werent so many peeopl eeatin on it. i wen to the cuonter an got 1 burger an asked for a sprite but the girl sed sumthin an pointed but i nevr got a sprit. insted thers a nice frige with free drinks wich is good. i was thirsy so i had 14 ciders from the fridg an then i felt reeal sick an sleepy. then my burger came an i ate it an it was nice an cruncy an it was gud. the bes thing abuot dirt burger was tha all tha fellas in ther were talkin abuot burgers an wich 1 in london was the best 1. i heard sum fellas talkin abuot mother flippz an Byzron an stuff so i stood up on my chair cos i was goin to talk abuot MEATLICKEr but then i fel over cos i drunk another free cidr to quickly. then i wok up outside a few huors later an my heead hurt quite bad.

then i wen home an reead sum of wikipedia until i fell asleep again an dreamt abuot all the diffrent crocs in the world.
i give dirt burger 44/100

Dirty Burger on Urbanspoon

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clud brozi got angrey

tha other day a big mess happend on the internet between gudtim chefs an bigtim bloggers. it was quite bad cos los of peeopl were reeal upset lik the tim tha i wantd to wash wrestlmania but insted i went to meet my frend hoyt guffrod an we went an crank calld Mr Jonson an sed thins lik “yuo a smelly spazzer” an “yuo guffbox” an “i bet yuo never been at the front of the bus” an “do YUO EVEN KNO WAT SKYRIM IS?” an othr clevr zingers. it was reeeal funny an me an hoyt laufghed a lot but then Mr Jonsons mum came ovr an sed that we shuold get away from the window an tha its not nice too shuot at disabled peeopl an how wud i feel if peeopl wer laufghin at me but i wasn reeally listenin cos i was tryin to get my rollerblad unstuck out of her rose bush an grass an fence an car window.

the sam thin happned to the bigtim chef fella clud brozi cos he invited 1 of his bes frens Jims Fishwood to com eeat sum scraps at his restrant HisBiscuits. they had a good josh aruond an i think they were goofin eeach othr an then the fella Jims went home an wrot on the internet tha he din lik the pancake. Clud then got reeal angry an called Jims a NoGooDNANcy an other stuff an then los of other big tim chefs lik tum carriag an scrat brains an Broggers got excited cos i thik they wer jeealous of Jims cos he was bes frens with Clud an they wanted to be bes frens with him. so then they joind in an sed thins lik “im gona guff his face in” an “DOWN with BLoggers” an “lets throw crocs at him” but actshually Clud was very sad cos he los his bes frend. i don thik los of peeopl lik him anymor but i don thik he cares cos now he deead insid cos his fren Jims is gon away. here sum pics i drew of wat happened.

this is clud brozi wen he angry cos he reead the blog by Jims FIshwood. he got a gun an a knif, but he just tryin to be scary he isn actuly goin to do nothin.

this wat he actualy feel lik cos he lost 1 of his bes frens.

this is wen he now deead inside an him an all his bigtim chef frens formed “tha chef expendables” cos they don lik bloggrs anymore an they gonna fight them good an proper lik the reeal expendables excep only on the internet. an they will prolly say sorry aftrwards cos they din reealy meean it. but they gonna be big TUOGH GUYS anyway.

i give clud brozi -10/100 for bein a no gud nansy with no frens.

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