sumtimes thins lik restraunts is reealy confusing cos all sorts of peeopl don always wanna do smart thins lik go to eeat a pizza hut buffet evn tho yuo can get as much food as yuo wan, thers abuot a millon of them an it maks yuo ful lik yuo eeaten a hunred eggs an yuo won hav to go to the toilet for another thriteen days. i had 4 pizza hut buffets in 2 days once wich i thuoght was reeally gud but then my mums cuosin sed “why din yuo jus got twic in 2 days an eeat twice as much eeach tim an then yuo wuoldn hav to pay 4 times. only 2 times.” wich i din reealy thik abuot but i din wanna look stupid so i askd him wat a TRONKUSO was an he sed he din kno an i lauged a lot an sed “yuo arnt even a FOODIE like me yuo dum guff so wat wuold yuo know abuot food yuo IDIOT !!!!!” an then i did a ninja move rite neear to his face so close that it was like a mini hurrican of scary neear him an then he vomited on himself an started cryin an my mum sed “YUGNICH STOP PRETENDIN TO PUNCH THAT BABY!” but i was reealy listenin cos i was thinkin abuot TRONKUSO an the fact tha i don reealy kno wat it is.
my fren J. Rainer wen to eeat it the othr day an los of othr peeopl say tha its the thin tha evrybody shuold be eeatin now cos its cool an tha meeans yuo cant reealy eat it cos evry1 else is eeatin it an yuo cant book tables an the retrants only have abuot 1 an a half tables anyway an if J. Rainer is eeatin ther then most of the tables will be being used anyway cos of his hair. in new york it is bettr becaus fellas lik gruy Frieery kno abuot gud thins an open restants with a millon seeats wich is gud becaus it meeans i can bring in my scootr an also a bag of bred an stuf. i din get to eeat TRONJUSO cos of all these reeasons. also cos i don kno wat it is. i think its a smal bag of crisps or sumthin.
insted i wen to eeat sum burgers cos they ar stil gud an all the fellas kno this so we gonna hav A LOT MOre bugr places open in london (yesssssssssssssssssssss). i wen to 1 calld dirt burgr wich is in a lil car park an is a cool lil sauna wit a big tabl in the middl wich wud be perfect for sum brakdansin if ther werent so many peeopl eeatin on it. i wen to the cuonter an got 1 burger an asked for a sprite but the girl sed sumthin an pointed but i nevr got a sprit. insted thers a nice frige with free drinks wich is good. i was thirsy so i had 14 ciders from the fridg an then i felt reeal sick an sleepy. then my burger came an i ate it an it was nice an cruncy an it was gud. the bes thing abuot dirt burger was tha all tha fellas in ther were talkin abuot burgers an wich 1 in london was the best 1. i heard sum fellas talkin abuot mother flippz an Byzron an stuff so i stood up on my chair cos i was goin to talk abuot MEATLICKEr but then i fel over cos i drunk another free cidr to quickly. then i wok up outside a few huors later an my heead hurt quite bad.
then i wen home an reead sum of wikipedia until i fell asleep again an dreamt abuot all the diffrent crocs in the world.
i give dirt burger 44/100