i been doin a blog for a lil time now an i thik i gettin prety gud (obvs). but ther othr fellas who are stil bettr an so i wantd to speeak to them so i cud try an steeal al ther gud ideeas an stuf. this a intwrview i did wit marina olaflin.
mazz-dog is 1 of my bes frends an also a gud bigtim food writr an she writs for places lik ‘the gardnian’ an ‘rovil’ an ‘twitster’. she prolly 1 of the best food peeopl out ther. heres tha intervew.
Yuggers: Is a anchovy sumthin tha food peeopl use to see if othr people are foody to cos its achsually disgusting an tastes lik a sharks armpit?
Mazzers: Anchovy is what gets you membership of ARF (Association of Real Foodists). To get into the secret upper echelons, you need to eat anchovies over andouillettes.
Wat do yuo look lik?
I am constantly mistaken for Nancy del’Olio.
Do yuo lik to wear: a)shorts b)cloaks c)crocs d)ripped jeans
I love all of those things, worn together if I can. When I don’t look like Nancy, I look like Mario Batali.
If yuo cud take zooby duchtannel to any restrant in London wich one wud it be?
Because I like it about as much as I like her.
Wat is yuor chidrens favurit food?
Son: sushi. Daughter: meat and sugar.
Wat is yuor husband/boyfs favurit food?
Currently, a suitcase full of Lyon sausages.
Wat are ther actshual favurit food (not tha one that they tell yuo they lik. The one they actshually lik to eeat all the tim wen yuo are in Italy or Croydon or sumthjin)?
This is the whole truth, Yugnich. Mine is hot buttered potato scones with smoked Maldon salt, even though you didn’t ask me. Or toasted sourdough with loads of butter and white Istrian truffles.
How often do yuo eeat at jamies Italian?
Is ther anything better than eeatin microwaving sum ham, putting on new girl an puttin the heeatin up to 40?
You can microwave ham until you’re purple in the face, but do not subject me to bloody New Girl. Sheesh.
Bloody cutesy girlie I’m-so-ditsy Zooey.
Do yuo sumtims want to writ for the daley mail?
I did once. They edited my piece to end with the words ‘pass the sickbag’. I have never done it again.
Is it okay if i tell peeopl that i am yuor 3rd cousin?
I thought you were?
Is marina olaflin yuor reeal nam or is it reealy
My real name is Marina Patricia Genevieve Pia O’Loughlin. Irish pa, Italian ma, innit.
What is the best thin tha yuo can cook tha isn’t cereal?
I am really brilliant at toast and Marmite. Or my mother’s ragu which takes nearly a day to cook.
Are yuo sumtimes sad that yuo cant go on masterchef?
It is a constant, overwhelming source of sadness to me.
Is bein sik in a bin the opposite of bein hungry?
Don’t tell me you’re a bulimic, Yugnich! It rots your teeth.
Wat crisp flavur do yuo wish sum1 wud mak into a soft drink?
Smoky bacon, obviously.
Wat is yuor favurit type of wisk?
Nigella’s tiny ladylike whisks.
Wat is a blog?
It is something that terrifies a lot of old fuddy-duddy journalists and excites a lot of pr people. Yours is my favourite EVER
If yuo were not a big tim food lady wud yuo be a)reealy good at fire poi b)a taxi driver c)lego d)sumthin else?
I am really good at watching five episodes of Breaking Bad one after the other and then feeling slightly sick. So maybe I could be a big time film critic.
How do yuo kno if yuo ar in love?
You can’t eat.
Do yuo kno Rachel coo?
No. Sorry Yugnich. I am slightly sensing you have a bit of a ‘type’, am I right? I could introduce you to my pal Dolores – Dolly – if you like. Lots of lovely dark brown hair…