Monthly Archives: January 2013

meeat mashine

meeatmashin

them meeat fellas hav don it agen! they opend a nother restrant. it good for them cos every1 always sayin how fellas havnt got any money an so we gonna hav to eeat insects an got 3 jobs an my mums gona hav to let all her frends sleep in her bed cos they got no beds of ther own an stuff. so it gud that they havin a fun tim cookin burgrs an an stuf cos it not only tha we got no money but also it janury an it cold an so fellas evrywher ar angry an if yuo go on twitster (like i do ALOT cos i got a LOT of frends ther who arnt lik my frens in reeal life so they arnt always callin me an sayin “yugnich i thik yuo left yuor leeather string vest chaps at my huose” or “yugnich yuor skatbording skills arnt very gud” or “yugnich is my dad at yuor mums house agen?!?” an then laugh some an then hang up an i normly shuot “FLIP OFF BRAD!!” cos i kno i din leeav my chaps ruond his house an obviously my skarbord skils ar THE BOMB an his dad dosnt come ruond to visit my mum anymor cos last tim he cam ruond i drawn a pic of him wich was very funny so tha when i drawd it i laugd so much tha a lil bit of wee came out an then he got mad an sed “THAT IS NOT A NICE DRAWiN YUGNICH!! wat is tha smell?. yugnich yuor jeeans ar completly coverd in muck. why ar yuo weearing my trousers?”) fellas always complainin abuot thins lik burgers existin an peeopl takin photos of sanwichs an how to mak the bes hats made of chees an othr importnt thins lik tha. so it nic tha them meeat fellas don a nothr plac.

the new 1 is calld meeat mashin an it in a plac wich isn so eeasy to find an so i thik it used to be a job centr cos it hidden an yuo hav to go thruogh som scary doors an ther no so many windows but thers los of tabls an when i got ther them fellas recognisd me instantly an so they sed “com her wud yuo lik a tabl for 1?” but i din notic cos i was alreeady siting down wherevr i feel lik it.

then i aksed for the biggst beer tha they cud do cos i was thirsy cos i was imagining differnt freerunnin moves i cud do in ther (lots. obviusly) an so they bruoght me a nic beer in a upside down watr cooler bottle. i tried to drink it tho but it only had a lil handl from a teeacup so i pickd it up an it fel down an broke evrywher an then evry1 lauged an sed “oh yugnich. wat a josher.” an i lauged a lot as wel but it was also very sore cos a LOT of glas went into my foot an i had to hide it by puttin my foot in my backpack wich workd a treeat cos it is a camo backpack (obvs.)

then i had sum lil chix strips wich wer all mushy an coverd in salt an vinegr crisps an ketchup wich wer prety good an then i had a burger wich was long lika subway an had sum nic lil onions in it an sum brown soup an sum mayonase wich i thik was rancid cos i at tha whol thin an it made my eyes sor an my nose hurt an my throat feel lik i was eeatin sum fire. then i was finishd an i put sum mony on the tabl an startd to leeave but fellas were callin me tryin to get me to stay sayin thins lik “excuse me, do yuo know yuor foot is in yuor bag? why is ther so much blood aruond yuor table? are youo okay? mayb yuo shuldnt leeav yet. yuo shuold cleean up this mess. wow yuo look reeal musly like yuo cud do ALOT of push ups!!” i not sure abuot the last 1 cos i cudnt reealy heear anythin anymor cos i was feelin woozy an tired. then i went an got a trane but fel asleep for a few days an now im feel bettr an awake.

i giv meeat machine 13/28
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picturs i drawn last year in no order

this a blog for sum peeopl who don use twitster cos they tha fellas who don get to see all of my drawins. i know tha them fellas ar prety silly for not bein on twister cos they prolly miss out on all the gud thins lik wen a PR person does a silly thin or wen a chef says sumthin meean or funny abuot anothr fella or sumthin or mayb falls over into his computr cos he so angry. it also gud for me to put thes pics ONLINE cos i draw so many pics tha i forgt i drawn them cos i hav to hide them cos i cant let my mum see them cos last tim she saw my drawins she was reeal mad an angry an sed “yugnich why did yuo draw this horible pic of me it is not NICE how ar yuo goin to be a LAWYER wen yuo do stupid thins lik this!!!!!!!” wich wasn very nic becos i only did a pictur of her playin wrestlin with 3 of her bes special frens who im not aluod to call “dad” or “orley” or “hey gumpnose!” an  she cud stil drive her car good an my cousin roy only had to paint half the house agen an i dont think she evn used the hoover tha much anyway. it also gud becos this is all the gud stuf tha happend last year:

 

bert

it was the lympics an ther was this lil fella from cranada i thik an he won sum wierd swimin race were he had to punch the wattr LOTS AN LOTS an then his dad got all happy an jumpd aruond an sed “thas my lil boy! he punched the watr bettr than anyone! im gonna buy him a mint corneto!!!!” but im not sur if he ever got the mint corneto cos he a fat fella an he prolly ate them all up b4 his lil boy cud get his chops on it.

ginbday

this my fren gingirls bday. she liks gin an she livs in the back of a tescos breadfactory so she gets all the best bits of bred tha don go to the shops cos they forgot to put rasins in them or the fellas got hungry an had a chomp of them befor the sold them an stuff. she also REEEAAAALY liks shaq from basktball evn tho hes reeal old now an he didn evn make any mor kazam genie films evn tho they wer obvs the best thing tha happnd from out of basketball. i mad him reeal small to mak gingirl feel bettr but also cos he is prolly small an not very clever. not lik STONE COLD!

 

grizzibday

this my othr fren GRIZTERS bday. shes reealy into skatbaords an tribal tatoos an she weears a to mch hair than she needs on her heead. 1 time wen i had tooo much hair on my heead also i calld up my fren TROY an aksed him if he wantd to cut it for me an he saed “no go away who is this? my name is Gerald. this is a bakery. are you still there? its 4 in the morning.” but i wasnt reealy listenin cos i was drawin pics of ultimate frisbee moves in my cereeal. now i cant hav any hair any more cos my mum says “it easer to not hav anythin than havin to always go to the doctor cos yuo don kno how to wash yuor hair proply” an i just laughd cos she doesnt know anythin abuot dreadlocks an it doesnt mattr anyway cos my armpit hair is longrenough to dreadlock anyway.

guzfarey

tha fella guz farey opened a restrant in NEWYORK in LA an no1 liked it much so i done this pictur to cheer him up. i don kno if it workd. guz?

hugesy

this my frend hugsy. hes reealy into workin uot (even tho hes not very gud) but i gotta give him props cos he also liks string vests lik me except i don thik he weears enuf lether ties an stuf. we prety gud frens but secrtly i thik he hang aruond wit me an stuf cos i kno mor abuot fashion an once teachd him wat lasagner was. he thuoght it was type of fish food made of graps. this pic i done to cheer him up cos he reeal fancys tryal branks. she sum profesional bowler or sumthing.

 

new eggs

this was a competishion i went to to mak the best egg coverd in crisps. i din reeal see the point of it ether but i drank sum nice glug of beer an then fel asleep in a boat cos it was neear a river an then i wen hom an playd xbox 360 for a few days an made my own egg it crisps an took it to the competishion but it wasn ther an it was just a regular tescos anyway an sum fella tol me im not aluod ther anymor cos i din pay for my hand soap from last time.

 

obramawin

thes ameican fellas had a comp to see who was mor poopular an the fella who playd the lil screechy fella in batman lost.

ol,mpics

this was the lympics again. it was of wen it opend an i learnt tha kenrith brangar from the movies actualy made england. then bovis came aruond an sed a bunch of stuf but no1 was listen cos they wer al waitin for the lil divin fella to covr himself in chocolat an jump into sum water or they wer imagining how good we wud be if jasun stathum did all the lympic sports for england an wher wud we be able to keep all the medal?S?

origamysnale

origami snale.

ribcagguybday

this was ribcage guys bday. he drank 40 litres of bludy crums sause an was stil goin. hes a prity crazy fella an 1 day we are goin to go to laser quest togethr an each tak in a can of red stripe an see who can drink it befor i fal asleep or get angry at anothr kid for havin a bettr laser pack than i do.

voteparteyus

this was the vote party again from wat i sed lik from abov.

 

movemere

 

this was from novembre wen los of fellas grow mustachs for chics an my mum says thas why thers los of babys in the next yeear cos of movembre. i was gonna grow 1 but then i grew a reeal big 1 an i went outsid an abuot hunred chicks wer al coming over to me an saying “wow yuo so cool can i tuoch yuor muostach when can we go an watch loserville togethr ive got 4 expansion packs for warcraft at home to yuo want to come play them on xbox?” an so i got bored an jasun stathum calld me an sed “come on guy leeave sum chics for the rest of us. heres 30£ go an buy a milkshake.” an i laughed so i cut it off anyway.

cpop bday

 

this was my fren cpopes bday. him an guz farey got togethr an punchd pizzas from fire an stone cos them pizzas suck an cpopes lauged a bunch but then he had to go to sleep cos he only bruoght 1 ice skate to the skating rink wher they went after. the nex day he went to pizza hut buffet an at so much pizza his fingernails fell off. it was a gud day i thik.

zinger

 

this is wen the royal fellas joshed evry1 wen they sed that they gonna hav a baby but actual it was a pillow tha she put in her top an k-mridz was only sik cos james corden textd her a pictur of him in the bath. they the best joshers in the land an thas how they became king an princes becos ashton krutcher from punkd tried to punk them but they knew abuot it so punkd him back an so the queen sed that they can be king an princess. 1 day i think i thik i wud becom king but i thik i wuldn be aluod to watch wrestlin blurays or play wit tech decks or nothin so i prolly wont.

 

thas TOOOOOO mcuh writin for me im sleepy. can i hav 4 hotdogs pleease? thaks.

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