Monthly Archives: January 2014

coys bar


The other day it was the first day of a new year an it got me to thiking about al of the thins I done the last year that gone on. Thins lik wen I went I stoppd tryin to be boyfriend and girlfren with Rachel koo (if u reeadin tho u can stil chang ur mind an we can go to an all u can eat cereal buffet tha I kno abuot thas really close to my house an definitely ISNT just me putting a whol kelogz variety pack in my bath an then fillin it with milk even tho TROY keeps on goin around an SAYIN THAT!), an also wen I went to puff town an didn do ANY bongs or wen I at sum grub at the clives club (good ole maps!) or wen me an Vin diesl went around beeatin up nerds who liked thins lik swimming an not-brakedancing. It got me thiking tha it was a pretty gud year.

So when I was finished bein happy an pattin my self on the back an spinning around in circles until I was dizzy an was sick in the corner of the nosh closet (my mum got reeal mad at me wen she found it cos she said “YUGNICH, you’ve ruined all the food in here. Its not even cold anymore cos of how hot ur sick is. Are u ill?”) I decided to get sum nice food.

I wen to a litl plac called coys bar wich is startd by a lil irish fella called coy who walks wit a stick even tho he dosnt have to just so that wen sum1 says sumthin mean to him lik “hey I bet that stick smells lik GUFFS COY!” he can drop it an go “I don even need it anyway” an then he does 3 backflips in a row an then sits in a perfect yoga position an laughs until the other fella runs away screming an crying an trying not to call his mum.

It a small litl  plac an u can only sit at the little bar when a bunch of cheffy fellas do thins lik boil rice and make instant noodles reeeeeeeealy slowly an quietly cos they are all tired and sleepy. I sat down an then ordred sum food an sum nice ladys bruoght me a big ole beer (wich I drank it super quick tim. Obvs) an then a bowl of sumthin wich I thik was defintly pig marshmelows wich were yummy an good an soft an only slightly like the marshmellows tha my mum used to put in my pokets befor I went to fight school. Then I scoffed them up which was reeal nice an then I got another dish wich had mince an instant noodles an sum orang juice or sumthin like that wich was good cos it tasted like wen I smash up a sausage roll an put it in with my cereal wich is always top.

Then wen I was finishd I stood on the bar thing an sed “hey why is the music so quiet?!?!?!” an then coy stuck his head around the corner an sed “got you!” an then turned up the stereo reeal loud an we played david guueta songs for 40 minutes whil we took turns in doin sick moves. Then every1 clapped an sed “wow 2014 is goin to be the best year ever” an i sed “yes it is.” Then coy looked at me an showed me his new tattoo of an sed “yes it is yugnich. yes it is”

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