Tag Archives: burger

itsac from the clives club intervew

itsacchefdj

 

itsac is 1 chef frend of me an he also cooks sum food at his restrant called the clives club with his 2 bes frens called clive. they all reealy into maps an stuff. he prolly one of the best guys to kno abuot food. he kno even mor than jonty who works down at the gym an always lets me eeat some of his mash potato sanwiches wen go to the hot room togethr. he once went to leeds so that he cud go to all of the spagetti house restrants in 1 day but he said it was actually reeal eeasy cos ther arnt any spagetti house restrants in leeds so he just went home again an ate sum toast.

here is my rinterview:

Is there a way tha yuo can tel tha yuor  toast is cooked withuot lookin in the toaster?

yeah when the spam is microwaved it isz ready.

Is it true tha yuo decided to be a chef cos yuo an your frend got kicked out of after school graf-gang the “spout boys”?

no, we left cause they were well boring and their graffs were rubbarsh

Can you do a kickflip?

only a 720….. http://ow.ly/rq6dd

Whats the higest number you ever counted to?

45, i always fall asleep if i start counting numbers

Are you sad tha you don get to go on the great british menu with fellas lik Tom Achin or go on MISTERCHEF with M-DOGG ROO?

Yes, but one day they will want to have me on misterchef the professionals and i will make them all cook chik nuggs as the test

Do you an Tom Achin stil play NHL 94 evry second weekend?

no,   he stopped playing with me and just plays against tom story now

Have you ever thought abuot openin a restrant called “Itsacs Fishshack” wher you just buy loads of gregs sausage rolls an write “PASTRY EEL” on them an then sell them for big bucks?

can i have that????

no isaac

Were all the good names taken when you decided to open you own restrant?

johnny wanted to call it SAUSAGE but that was way too future for shoreditch so we had to go with a boring name that the people of shoredurch could ‘get’

clives yum

How did you get al them fellas to give you money?

i don’t know but it worked.  i think it was the ribena and custard creams at the showround

How much money to do you thik I can get for my invention “3way mirror”? it’s a two mirror glued onto just a normal mirror so you can look THRUOGH the two mirror and see the NORMAL mirror. #mindbogglin

dunno i cant figure it out

Do you thik you will be the first restrant in London to have: 1. A skateramp? 2. Free bongs 3. Chees wheel Sundays?

4.

Was it sad wen your chef frend from ‘lil turks had to go an be james bond?

yes, but daniel craig wasn’t feelin well and they needed someone real quick

How come fellas lik no.9 an no.3 an no.1 from slipknot can all work together in a band but chef fellas cant?

they got the masks so they can pull faces at each uthr and noone knows if they are in a bad mood

Now that thers los of horsemeat an stuf in shops do you thik a lot of vegetarians will start to chang ther minds abuot thins?

i thik the vegetarirans think they are are winning, and they need to watch out or they will be getting a big surprises soon

Wat wud you do if you were workin out an then you saw double A Gill on the treeadmil next to you?

i would spend the next 25 minutes talking to him about my holiday in sicily then just at the end tell him that he isnt veery good at writiing.

double a

Why do peeopl serve wine in restrants on its own if no one actuly drinks it without mixing it with A LOT of lemonade at home?

cos its french and everyone wants to look cool like they really into french stuff

6 Mar 2002 Nan and dogs wearing berets

do you have a discount at your restrant for juggalos?

50%

Juggalos

How much money wil I prolly hav to bring if I wanna have a big scoff party at your place? Wat abuot if I promis to writ a blog post abuot it as well which wil have at LEEAST 12 gifs in it as well?

we don’t like GIFS

Do you thik you wud lik to be like godrun ramsney when you grow up?

yeah but i need to be more shouty

Whats the best sandwich that you can think of?

the one i had when i was in new york last autumn. it was great

My frend Hovis said that he reead on the internet tha they making a new star wars film.

i know rite

Wud you rather eeat nothing but potnoodles for a week or hav to be frends with Marc Us Warring for a year?

noodles

marc

Wats your fav plac to eeat in olympics westfieeld?

still banned form going within 2 miles of that place after i did that night out with you and your mate Hovis.

Did yuo get these ideeas for food from my ideea/graf juornal?

-chix nuggz? YES

-Hummus cereeal an gravel? no you stole thAT  FROM ME

-Microwaved ham? THATS For the new restaurants we gonna open

-Any sort of eggs? em?

-Whol menu made from chix scraps? we tried that but it was too booring

thes are sum other ideeas that u can put on yuor menu an it can be like the nex CROTNUT:

-bong salad – stuf sum leeaves an potatos an muscls in a bong. Blaze for a sec. Scoff the slad scraps.

-Backwards fondu – eithr you shov bits of melted chees slics in lil birs of bred or you tak spoons of hog fat, dip it in sum minc, then scoff it down. i havnt decided wich yet.

-Donut – half doritos half nuts scrammed up into a lil ball.

-Baconzade – boil 1 hole tub of bacon in a pot of zade for a few huors. Tak it out. Chill the zade to drink later an eeat the bacon.

The suond of the sea – yuo mak some dreads out of sum fish mince. Put it on sum sand. Chuck it all on a ipad playin a sick playlist of jack jonson songs wit the itunes visulizer on MAX.

-backwards eggs – tak out the yolky bit from the othr bit of the egg. Put the yolky bit in the microwave for 20 mins. Put the whit bit in a syring an stab in into the yolky bit an then push it in ther. Then scof it down an try not be sick.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasy

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dirt burgers

sumtimes thins lik restraunts is reealy confusing cos all sorts of peeopl don always wanna do smart thins lik go to eeat a pizza hut buffet evn tho yuo can get as much food as yuo wan, thers abuot a millon of them an it maks yuo ful lik yuo eeaten a hunred eggs an yuo won hav to go to the toilet for another thriteen days. i had 4 pizza hut buffets in 2 days once wich i thuoght was reeally gud but then my mums cuosin sed “why din yuo jus got twic in 2 days an eeat twice as much eeach tim an then yuo wuoldn hav to pay 4 times. only 2 times.” wich i din reealy thik abuot but i din wanna look stupid so i askd him wat a TRONKUSO was an he sed he din kno an i lauged a lot an sed “yuo arnt even a FOODIE like me yuo dum guff so wat wuold yuo know abuot food yuo IDIOT !!!!!” an then i did a ninja move rite neear to his face so close that it was like a mini hurrican of scary neear him an then he vomited on himself an started cryin an my mum sed “YUGNICH STOP PRETENDIN TO PUNCH THAT BABY!” but i was reealy listenin cos i was thinkin abuot TRONKUSO an the fact tha i don reealy kno wat it is.

my fren J. Rainer wen to eeat it the othr day an los of othr peeopl say tha its the thin tha evrybody shuold be eeatin now cos its cool an  tha meeans yuo cant reealy eat it cos evry1 else is eeatin it an yuo cant book tables an the retrants only have abuot 1 an a half tables anyway an if J. Rainer is eeatin ther then most of the tables will be being used anyway cos of his hair. in new york it is bettr becaus fellas lik gruy Frieery kno abuot gud thins an open restants with a millon seeats wich is gud becaus it meeans i can bring in my scootr an also a bag of bred an stuf. i din get to eeat TRONJUSO cos of all these reeasons. also cos i don kno wat it is. i think its a smal bag of crisps or sumthin.

insted i wen to eeat sum burgers cos they ar stil gud an all the fellas kno this so we gonna hav A LOT MOre bugr places open in london (yesssssssssssssssssssss). i wen to 1 calld dirt burgr wich is in a lil car park an is a cool lil sauna wit a big tabl in the  middl wich wud be perfect for sum brakdansin if ther werent so many peeopl eeatin on it. i wen to the cuonter an got 1 burger an asked for a sprite but the girl sed sumthin an pointed but i nevr got a sprit. insted thers a nice frige with free drinks wich is good. i was thirsy so i had 14 ciders from the fridg an then i felt reeal sick an sleepy. then my burger came an i ate it an it was nice an cruncy an it was gud. the bes thing abuot dirt burger was tha all tha fellas in ther were talkin abuot burgers an wich 1 in london was the best 1. i heard sum fellas talkin abuot mother flippz an Byzron an stuff so i stood up on my chair cos i was goin to talk abuot MEATLICKEr but then i fel over cos i drunk another free cidr to quickly. then i wok up outside a few huors later an my heead hurt quite bad.

then i wen home an reead sum of wikipedia until i fell asleep again an dreamt abuot all the diffrent crocs in the world.
i give dirt burger 44/100

 
Dirty Burger on Urbanspoon
 

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Burger recipy

Burger Recipy

Ingredients:

100grams ground meat

3 floury white buns

14 pickles

one cup mustard

thirteen litres lettuce

child’s handful of pepper

Method:

Mix everything into a bowl until congealed and stiff. Add the pepper and half the pickles. Season to taste.

Turn on the over to 180 degrees C.

Put the white buns under the grill under lightly chard.

Mix in the cheese until melted.

Turn on the frying pan and through in the burgers. Season to taste.

Cook the burgers until not raw.

Don’t forget the pepper!

Result:

Yum Yum!

Email me pictures of your results please: yugnich@hotmail.co.uk

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