Tag Archives: free runnin

tronkutso an my best eggs

tronkutsogoodegg

I normally tell a lil story or summin wen I done a new blog revew cos obvs peeople prolly more inrested in wat sort of goofs an joshes I been doin lik changin all the letters around on the pet shop sign so that it says GUFF ON STEPS wich is obvs reealy funny (except Jase who my boss always get mad an says “Yugnich you don even WORK here anymor! Go away an stop changin the sign! I gonna call the polic next time!!!! also tel your mum tha I need to pick up my neon camo cargo shorts from her bedroom” but I normly don tel her anythin anyway cos she don like Jase cos he not my dad and cos she say he stupid cos the name NO GUFFS PETS is not a good name for a pet shop anyway.)

But this tim I not gonna tell a story cos of 2 thins. 1 is – I kno wat a tronkutso is now. The othr is I had the best egg I ever had!!!!

tronkutso is the nam of a restrant in london but I also sum food they serv ther wich is lik a pig cereeal cos it cos sum ham milk wich is milky like milk an tastes piggy lik ham. But the tronkutso also had a egg in it. wen I scoffed it down (obvs I did tha first) I was the mos hapy I evr been (apart from wen I finished skyrim for abuot the millonth tim an stone cold steve austin called me up an said “hey yugnich well don on finishin skyrim AGAIN we all reeal impressed an I wish I cud be a bit mor like yuo” an then he gav the phon to jasun stathum an he said “i wish I was as muscly an good at freerunnin as yuo” an I lauged cos obvs it was true but I was still happy)

 the egg was nic an eggy an it was a bit salt an it was yellow in the middl (lik sum yellow crocs) an a bit grey on the outsid (lik grey crocs. Or my nan) an it was good an I ate an thuoght “wow they mus hav sum good fella microwavin these eggs cos they are nice”. So I said to the lady who was servin me to brin me mor eggs an I scoffd lots of them down but then she said tha I cant hav anymor cos ther were too many peeopl waitin to come sit with me. I thik this cos I look lik a bit famus person wit my wrapruond sunglases and leeather shin straps an camo/tribal tatoos an also cos I was rap battlin myself (it was a draw) whil scoffin down them eggs.

The restrant ok but I don thik they not got los o money cos ther no reeal roof an most of the thins in ther I thik they got from bins. It wud prolly be a bit bettr if ther was mor lights an mayb if they paintd it all green or red or sumthin an put up sum posters an didn mak you eeat from old bits of sum ladys floors instead of on sum tables.

then i had to gone home cos i remembered i left my cereeal in the oven an it prolly burned most of my mums kitschen agan. on the trane home i thuoght abuot my best eggs. these ar my othre best eggs:

mcdronalsd mcegg

it in a bun. it tast pretty good. it dont cost so much dosh. an also if i wait outside the 1 near the tracadero in the mornin ther always sum lil loser who i can steeal one from. easy.

mcmuff

boild egg.

yum.

yugnich kid egg

creeam egg

39 mins in the microwav. bak in the freezer for a few days then scoff it down in 1 sandwich. nice

baby choc

all othr eggs.

i give tronkutso 76/88 an the egg 4/3.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

meeat mashine

meeatmashin

them meeat fellas hav don it agen! they opend a nother restrant. it good for them cos every1 always sayin how fellas havnt got any money an so we gonna hav to eeat insects an got 3 jobs an my mums gona hav to let all her frends sleep in her bed cos they got no beds of ther own an stuff. so it gud that they havin a fun tim cookin burgrs an an stuf cos it not only tha we got no money but also it janury an it cold an so fellas evrywher ar angry an if yuo go on twitster (like i do ALOT cos i got a LOT of frends ther who arnt lik my frens in reeal life so they arnt always callin me an sayin “yugnich i thik yuo left yuor leeather string vest chaps at my huose” or “yugnich yuor skatbording skills arnt very gud” or “yugnich is my dad at yuor mums house agen?!?” an then laugh some an then hang up an i normly shuot “FLIP OFF BRAD!!” cos i kno i din leeav my chaps ruond his house an obviously my skarbord skils ar THE BOMB an his dad dosnt come ruond to visit my mum anymor cos last tim he cam ruond i drawn a pic of him wich was very funny so tha when i drawd it i laugd so much tha a lil bit of wee came out an then he got mad an sed “THAT IS NOT A NICE DRAWiN YUGNICH!! wat is tha smell?. yugnich yuor jeeans ar completly coverd in muck. why ar yuo weearing my trousers?”) fellas always complainin abuot thins lik burgers existin an peeopl takin photos of sanwichs an how to mak the bes hats made of chees an othr importnt thins lik tha. so it nic tha them meeat fellas don a nothr plac.

the new 1 is calld meeat mashin an it in a plac wich isn so eeasy to find an so i thik it used to be a job centr cos it hidden an yuo hav to go thruogh som scary doors an ther no so many windows but thers los of tabls an when i got ther them fellas recognisd me instantly an so they sed “com her wud yuo lik a tabl for 1?” but i din notic cos i was alreeady siting down wherevr i feel lik it.

then i aksed for the biggst beer tha they cud do cos i was thirsy cos i was imagining differnt freerunnin moves i cud do in ther (lots. obviusly) an so they bruoght me a nic beer in a upside down watr cooler bottle. i tried to drink it tho but it only had a lil handl from a teeacup so i pickd it up an it fel down an broke evrywher an then evry1 lauged an sed “oh yugnich. wat a josher.” an i lauged a lot as wel but it was also very sore cos a LOT of glas went into my foot an i had to hide it by puttin my foot in my backpack wich workd a treeat cos it is a camo backpack (obvs.)

then i had sum lil chix strips wich wer all mushy an coverd in salt an vinegr crisps an ketchup wich wer prety good an then i had a burger wich was long lika subway an had sum nic lil onions in it an sum brown soup an sum mayonase wich i thik was rancid cos i at tha whol thin an it made my eyes sor an my nose hurt an my throat feel lik i was eeatin sum fire. then i was finishd an i put sum mony on the tabl an startd to leeave but fellas were callin me tryin to get me to stay sayin thins lik “excuse me, do yuo know yuor foot is in yuor bag? why is ther so much blood aruond yuor table? are youo okay? mayb yuo shuldnt leeav yet. yuo shuold cleean up this mess. wow yuo look reeal musly like yuo cud do ALOT of push ups!!” i not sure abuot the last 1 cos i cudnt reealy heear anythin anymor cos i was feelin woozy an tired. then i went an got a trane but fel asleep for a few days an now im feel bettr an awake.

i giv meeat machine 13/28
MEATmission on Urbanspoon

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,