Tag Archives: kickflips

itsac from the clives club intervew

itsacchefdj

 

itsac is 1 chef frend of me an he also cooks sum food at his restrant called the clives club with his 2 bes frens called clive. they all reealy into maps an stuff. he prolly one of the best guys to kno abuot food. he kno even mor than jonty who works down at the gym an always lets me eeat some of his mash potato sanwiches wen go to the hot room togethr. he once went to leeds so that he cud go to all of the spagetti house restrants in 1 day but he said it was actually reeal eeasy cos ther arnt any spagetti house restrants in leeds so he just went home again an ate sum toast.

here is my rinterview:

Is there a way tha yuo can tel tha yuor  toast is cooked withuot lookin in the toaster?

yeah when the spam is microwaved it isz ready.

Is it true tha yuo decided to be a chef cos yuo an your frend got kicked out of after school graf-gang the “spout boys”?

no, we left cause they were well boring and their graffs were rubbarsh

Can you do a kickflip?

only a 720….. http://ow.ly/rq6dd

Whats the higest number you ever counted to?

45, i always fall asleep if i start counting numbers

Are you sad tha you don get to go on the great british menu with fellas lik Tom Achin or go on MISTERCHEF with M-DOGG ROO?

Yes, but one day they will want to have me on misterchef the professionals and i will make them all cook chik nuggs as the test

Do you an Tom Achin stil play NHL 94 evry second weekend?

no,   he stopped playing with me and just plays against tom story now

Have you ever thought abuot openin a restrant called “Itsacs Fishshack” wher you just buy loads of gregs sausage rolls an write “PASTRY EEL” on them an then sell them for big bucks?

can i have that????

no isaac

Were all the good names taken when you decided to open you own restrant?

johnny wanted to call it SAUSAGE but that was way too future for shoreditch so we had to go with a boring name that the people of shoredurch could ‘get’

clives yum

How did you get al them fellas to give you money?

i don’t know but it worked.  i think it was the ribena and custard creams at the showround

How much money to do you thik I can get for my invention “3way mirror”? it’s a two mirror glued onto just a normal mirror so you can look THRUOGH the two mirror and see the NORMAL mirror. #mindbogglin

dunno i cant figure it out

Do you thik you will be the first restrant in London to have: 1. A skateramp? 2. Free bongs 3. Chees wheel Sundays?

4.

Was it sad wen your chef frend from ‘lil turks had to go an be james bond?

yes, but daniel craig wasn’t feelin well and they needed someone real quick

How come fellas lik no.9 an no.3 an no.1 from slipknot can all work together in a band but chef fellas cant?

they got the masks so they can pull faces at each uthr and noone knows if they are in a bad mood

Now that thers los of horsemeat an stuf in shops do you thik a lot of vegetarians will start to chang ther minds abuot thins?

i thik the vegetarirans think they are are winning, and they need to watch out or they will be getting a big surprises soon

Wat wud you do if you were workin out an then you saw double A Gill on the treeadmil next to you?

i would spend the next 25 minutes talking to him about my holiday in sicily then just at the end tell him that he isnt veery good at writiing.

double a

Why do peeopl serve wine in restrants on its own if no one actuly drinks it without mixing it with A LOT of lemonade at home?

cos its french and everyone wants to look cool like they really into french stuff

6 Mar 2002 Nan and dogs wearing berets

do you have a discount at your restrant for juggalos?

50%

Juggalos

How much money wil I prolly hav to bring if I wanna have a big scoff party at your place? Wat abuot if I promis to writ a blog post abuot it as well which wil have at LEEAST 12 gifs in it as well?

we don’t like GIFS

Do you thik you wud lik to be like godrun ramsney when you grow up?

yeah but i need to be more shouty

Whats the best sandwich that you can think of?

the one i had when i was in new york last autumn. it was great

My frend Hovis said that he reead on the internet tha they making a new star wars film.

i know rite

Wud you rather eeat nothing but potnoodles for a week or hav to be frends with Marc Us Warring for a year?

noodles

marc

Wats your fav plac to eeat in olympics westfieeld?

still banned form going within 2 miles of that place after i did that night out with you and your mate Hovis.

Did yuo get these ideeas for food from my ideea/graf juornal?

-chix nuggz? YES

-Hummus cereeal an gravel? no you stole thAT  FROM ME

-Microwaved ham? THATS For the new restaurants we gonna open

-Any sort of eggs? em?

-Whol menu made from chix scraps? we tried that but it was too booring

thes are sum other ideeas that u can put on yuor menu an it can be like the nex CROTNUT:

-bong salad – stuf sum leeaves an potatos an muscls in a bong. Blaze for a sec. Scoff the slad scraps.

-Backwards fondu – eithr you shov bits of melted chees slics in lil birs of bred or you tak spoons of hog fat, dip it in sum minc, then scoff it down. i havnt decided wich yet.

-Donut – half doritos half nuts scrammed up into a lil ball.

-Baconzade – boil 1 hole tub of bacon in a pot of zade for a few huors. Tak it out. Chill the zade to drink later an eeat the bacon.

The suond of the sea – yuo mak some dreads out of sum fish mince. Put it on sum sand. Chuck it all on a ipad playin a sick playlist of jack jonson songs wit the itunes visulizer on MAX.

-backwards eggs – tak out the yolky bit from the othr bit of the egg. Put the yolky bit in the microwave for 20 mins. Put the whit bit in a syring an stab in into the yolky bit an then push it in ther. Then scof it down an try not be sick.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasy

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hawks an more

hawks an mor

quite sum months ago ther was all this stuf in the news abuot how fellas was eeating horses wen they was tryin to eeat burgers instead an it was real gud cos it was a gud oppatunity for fellas to make good joshes and say thins like “what did the barguy say wen a horse walked into a burgerr?” he say “hey the long faceQ!” an every1 was all laugin an stuff but it also mad me thik abuot all the thins tha we don normly eeat lik cats an rats an lettuc an hamsters (ther loads of hamsters at my old work an they reeal easy to catch cos they so silly and dum an they in cages an stuff). why don mos fellas even eeat eggshells? they free an thers lots of them an they don tast so bad an they only mak u bleed LOTS out of yuor mouth an yuor mum don even find out if yuo hav a spesh egg shel bag under yuor bed tha she don kno abuot until she come into yuor room an say “YUGNICH why is ther all this blood on yuor pillow again?! hav yuo been givin yuorself nosebleeds again? thas not how yuo get girls to like yuo!!” an i jus laug at her cos i din give myself a nosebleed i jus hit my heead against the wall wen i was rockin out to imagining tha i was listenin to mudvayn. an also all the egg shells i was eeatin.

i was thikin that it all such a wast of reeal good scoffs so i was real happy wen i heeard about a plac in london called “hawks an more” wich done food lik all the othr lil scrud bits of stuff tha no1 ever eaats lik hawks an donkeys an pigrats an stuf.  so i got a bus to spiterfield wich only took abuot a few huors cos i got lost an fell into a well an made frends with a rat whos name was droynal an he had wicked good diablo skills but then i realised i was in a bustop an droynal was a bin.

then i got to hawks an more an said “can i hav a big hawk please” an they said okay an then i sat down an at a lil table in the room an it was dark an it was lik a cool disco. an then they got brung me sum wine wich was quite nice (it wasn it was rank an lik vinegar an stuff but it was good an foody yuo know?) an then they got me sum old dog bones i thik cos they wer trying to impress me an put them in a fire an said “scoff on thos yuggers. fresh dog scrud” an it was okay an good but i wish fellas wud stop steeling my ideas for food thins cos 1 day i will prolly do my restrant an i will need to take back all these thins like dog bone fire sticks (hawks an more), chix nugs in tree bits (clives club), fat stik an bread (storeybooks), and eggs (norma) back so that all fellas cant cook them anymor. then they bruoght me sum big bit of hawk or pig or horse or summin an then i scoffed it down an it was nice an burnt an ther was blood an all sorts of stuf an it was good. then they said okay yuggers, yuo owe use abuot £100000 pounds an i said “ok but wat if i just promis to writ a blog abuot yuo” and they joshed with me an said “do yuo hav a blog?” an i lauged an then went home whil they wer shuotin at me abuot sumthin but i wasn even listen cos i was thinkin abuot the perfect horse joke. her it is:

“what did my dad say to the hors”

“Yugnich eats BURGERS!!! yuo shuold be SCARED!”

CROTNUTS!

i giv hawks an more 59/80

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