Tag Archives: noodles

Brun Daddy

brun daddy

after i wen thru the secret door in the back of the fridge in lilos me an my new friend Drickens wernt even cold at all. i wasnt tha surprised that i wasnt because i dont really feel the weather tha much becaus of my muscles an my collection of beanees, string vests, gilets, doorags, small shorts and fur coats but i was mor surprised tha the small muscly hair fella Drickens (who was my new best frend) wasnt shivering or trying to soil himself to make him warm like my mums dog knuckles.

Drickens – who wasnt in the pocket of my dungarees anymor – look pretty happy so i said “why arent we cold if we just in a fridge?” an he said “because we not in a fridge anymore” and i said “where are we then?” and he laughed an pointed at something just behind my head. i turned around an saw a normal borin old tree tha i couldve easily climb if i wanted to but i jus didnt want to. “thas a boring tree an i could easily climb it Drickens” i said to Drickens an then he said “maybe you should have a closer look Yuggers. Also what is that in your pocket? is that hummus?” an i laughed cos i remember tha back when i was in lilos i got a handful just in case for the bus home.

then i looked closer at the tree an realised tha insteead of pineapples an butternuts an crips it was growin ostrich eggs the size of a mirror balls an i instantl jumped up, done a 180 an then went to get as many eggs as i cud get into my hands. i was so excited that i started rapping the lyrics to “Gravel Hut” wich is a song by my new favourit rapper GrugMubbelz####^^#

i picked up a whol 40 of the eggs an was just abuot to kick a few into the sun jus for fun when Drickens ran over an was crying like a lil baby or something an sayin “Yuggers no you shouldn do tha!” an i said “why not you dweeb?” an he said “jus cos tha tree got so many ostrich eggs it don mean tha you should take them. do you even want to eat tha many ostrich eggs?” an i said “trash my frash, Ash” wich is a line from Gravel Hut.

Then Drickens got scared an said we should go cos of tha eggs tha i took an he started running towards a well tha was as wide as a bus an he jumped in an he said follow me quickly! an i said “okay you dweeb and why don you tell me wher we are anyway?” an he said “WERE IN THE DEEP WEB YUGNIChH! THE DEEP WEB!!”

an i said ive been to the deep web before (cos ive been ONLINE) an then we fell for 40 minuts until it was so dark tha i couldnt see anythin apart from my glow in the dark tattoos.

then we cam to the end of the well an then Drickens said “through here” an we went through a small door an we came out into a toilet in a small basement an i said “wher are we now?” an he said we at the restrant Brun Daddy wich is a noodle place. an i said ok an then we went upstairs wher ther was lots of loud music an lots of people running around for no reason an everyone pretendin to be happy but also angry an some fella came to me an said do you want to eat somethin an i said “no thaks i stil got sum hummus” an then Drickens looked scared an i said “why you scared you small hairy doofus” an he stopped shakin for just a second and looked at me with his scared lame eyes.

then he said “somethin else came through the door from the deep web Yugnich. something dangerous.”

I wasnt scared at all but Drickens didnt look like he had seen the Undertaker on a bad day.

i give Brun Daddy 18/40

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tronkutso an my best eggs

tronkutsogoodegg

I normally tell a lil story or summin wen I done a new blog revew cos obvs peeople prolly more inrested in wat sort of goofs an joshes I been doin lik changin all the letters around on the pet shop sign so that it says GUFF ON STEPS wich is obvs reealy funny (except Jase who my boss always get mad an says “Yugnich you don even WORK here anymor! Go away an stop changin the sign! I gonna call the polic next time!!!! also tel your mum tha I need to pick up my neon camo cargo shorts from her bedroom” but I normly don tel her anythin anyway cos she don like Jase cos he not my dad and cos she say he stupid cos the name NO GUFFS PETS is not a good name for a pet shop anyway.)

But this tim I not gonna tell a story cos of 2 thins. 1 is – I kno wat a tronkutso is now. The othr is I had the best egg I ever had!!!!

tronkutso is the nam of a restrant in london but I also sum food they serv ther wich is lik a pig cereeal cos it cos sum ham milk wich is milky like milk an tastes piggy lik ham. But the tronkutso also had a egg in it. wen I scoffed it down (obvs I did tha first) I was the mos hapy I evr been (apart from wen I finished skyrim for abuot the millonth tim an stone cold steve austin called me up an said “hey yugnich well don on finishin skyrim AGAIN we all reeal impressed an I wish I cud be a bit mor like yuo” an then he gav the phon to jasun stathum an he said “i wish I was as muscly an good at freerunnin as yuo” an I lauged cos obvs it was true but I was still happy)

 the egg was nic an eggy an it was a bit salt an it was yellow in the middl (lik sum yellow crocs) an a bit grey on the outsid (lik grey crocs. Or my nan) an it was good an I ate an thuoght “wow they mus hav sum good fella microwavin these eggs cos they are nice”. So I said to the lady who was servin me to brin me mor eggs an I scoffd lots of them down but then she said tha I cant hav anymor cos ther were too many peeopl waitin to come sit with me. I thik this cos I look lik a bit famus person wit my wrapruond sunglases and leeather shin straps an camo/tribal tatoos an also cos I was rap battlin myself (it was a draw) whil scoffin down them eggs.

The restrant ok but I don thik they not got los o money cos ther no reeal roof an most of the thins in ther I thik they got from bins. It wud prolly be a bit bettr if ther was mor lights an mayb if they paintd it all green or red or sumthin an put up sum posters an didn mak you eeat from old bits of sum ladys floors instead of on sum tables.

then i had to gone home cos i remembered i left my cereeal in the oven an it prolly burned most of my mums kitschen agan. on the trane home i thuoght abuot my best eggs. these ar my othre best eggs:

mcdronalsd mcegg

it in a bun. it tast pretty good. it dont cost so much dosh. an also if i wait outside the 1 near the tracadero in the mornin ther always sum lil loser who i can steeal one from. easy.

mcmuff

boild egg.

yum.

yugnich kid egg

creeam egg

39 mins in the microwav. bak in the freezer for a few days then scoff it down in 1 sandwich. nice

baby choc

all othr eggs.

i give tronkutso 76/88 an the egg 4/3.

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