Tag Archives: rachel coo

i try to buy 1 sik car


i wan to buy a car so tha i can be more muscly an then mayb rachel coo will come on a date wit me or reply to me emails or send me back al the pictures tha i did cos my mum says it NOT COOOL tha i did sick graf all over her bank stuf an flat stuf an job stuf an passport an drivin license an watever an sent it to sum woman. especialy sinc i din writ a adres on or a stamp or evn put it in a envelop an i shudda nevr given them to my frend who name i cant remember cos only met him onc in the street an tol him to give all my stuff to rachel coo. but i wasn reealy listen to her cos i was tryin to buy a car ONLINE. this wat happened wen i spok to l-town (i chang her nam from Hovis so that she got sum privacy):

You are now chatting with L-town.

L-town: Hello, and welcome to Toyota! You’re chatting to L-town, how may I assist you today?

yugnich: hello

yugnich: i need to find a new car

L-town: Ok great

L-town: What do you have in mind?

yugnich: sumthing quite fast

yugnich: but also big

yugnich: im quite muscly so i need lots of space

L-town: Ok what do you need the car for?

yugnich: to go to my job at the pet shop. to go on doritos runs. to buy burgrs.

yugnich: also my frend said that it would prolly get me a date?

L-town: Ok what is your budget?

yugnich: my mum got abuot 9 grand in her warrobe from when her frends tha not my dad come over an give to her

yugnich: i can use tha i think

yugnich: is there 1 car wich i can put my decks in as well? so i can vjay whil i drive also?

L-town: Have you thought about an urban cruiser?

L-town: This will fit well with your lifestyle

L-town: Plenty of room of your decks

yugnich: thats a cool name

L-town: Yes

yugnich: got graph on it?

yugnich: if not tha okay cos i can tag it myself

L-town: http://www.google.co.uk/search?gs_rn=25&gs_ri=psy-ab&cp=10&gs_id=1y&xhr=t&q=urban+cruiser&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.51156542,d.ZG4&biw=1280&bih=963&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=DAQeUuPXCaWv7AbnqIC4Cw#facrc=0%3Burban%20cruiser%20white&imgdii=_&imgrc=_

L-town: Have a look at the picture

L-town: Copy and paste this into your internet browser

L-town: You could think about an IQ that you can customise

yugnich: i customised my mums oven but she didn lik it cos she tha now theres no room for anythin in it cos i glued crocs alover the middle of it but i thik it looks sick

yugnich: can yuo make a ubran cruiser look lik this: http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles25/295479/projects/915502/35b47ab72921e0ae99fc9a65a1d6a653.jpg

L-town: I unfortunately cannot look at the link you sent me

L-town: Its saying its not found

yugnich: soz l-town

yugnich: this one: http://www.behance.net/gallery/Dan-Gray-Scion-vehicle-designs/915502

yugnich: ?

yugnich: its pretty gud graf skills (im bettr, obvs)

L-town: That looks great

L-town: Im impressed

yugnich: thaks.

yugnich: do u thik u wud want to go to nandos wit me i was in a car tha sik?

L-town: Unfortunately I am unable to do that

yugnich: do yuo think zooby deschanel from new girl wud want to go with me?

L-town: Is there anything I can assist you with car wise?

yugnich: How many boild eggs do you thik I can fit in the front of the ubran cruiser?

L-town: It has been great chatting to you, would you like any further assistance as other people are waiting to chat to me?

yugnich: i am sorry l-town. i thik i need to get my heead around cars more from now

yugnich: i kno yuo busy so soz i took yuor tim up

L-town: No it no problem

L-town: I am happy to talk to you, if it is car related

yugnich: i will prolly jus go play sum skyrim an win it for the millionth tim

yugnich: can i get a drivin licenc from toyorta?

L-town: Ok Great

L-town: No only from the DVLA

L-town: Sorry

yugnich: Duncan’s Video Laser Arcade?

yugnich: that plac is the bomb

L-town: I am very sorry to hear that.

L-town: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

yugnich: no thaks l town

yugnich: but yuo shouldnt be sorry. i happy abuot it

L-town: Thank you for chatting today.  As we value your feedback please click the ‘End Chat’ button at top right to answer a few questions about your experience with us.

L-town: Bye Yugnich

yugnich: i gotta go cos the fellas at the library saying i cant listen to rap metal any more

yugnich: by l-town

L-town: Bye

i din get a car in the end but it dont matter cos i mostly freerun anyway.

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jons salt


i been a bit sad for a whil cos the last thin i wrote on here was my lettr to the france cook TV lady rachel coo an I aksed her to write to me or somthin but she never did :(. wich is not good cos like my mum says, even if you don reeally like a fella you still have to be nice to them an invite them to play in yuor room becos it not everyday tha a fella comes round an brings yuo flowers or takes yuo to wokmania chines buffet or brings yuo a pineappl pizza or fixes yuor washin machine or leeaves his car somewher so tha you can crash into it.

so it made me sad for a lil whil an only listened to slow hoobastank songs an did a lot of dark art drawins wich were mostly inspird by banksy an they reeally good but i had to throw them away cos my mum says tha all the spraypaint scrud made our food go rancid an tha if i want to graf i shuold go do it on a wall somehwer an not inside of a fridge but i was only half listenin cos i was scoffin this old chees an onion pasty i found. aftr tha i was sick for lots of time but i thik i ok now. i just cant eeat tha many eggs anymor or look at ham or stand up so good.

wen i strated to feel bettr i thuoght i kno wat wud make me bettr it would be to go to the big smoke an scoff sum grub. i went to a place called jons salt wich is a place in sum boring scrud place tha looks lik a outdoor version of Stratford Westfield an is a restrant started by a fella called jon who used to just serve salt crips an othr scrud but then sum chef came alon and said “IM GONNA COOK HERE AN IM GONNA MAKE FELLAS EEAT BRICKS.” an then lots of fellas did go ther an fellas did eeat bricks but then he got bord an ran out of good bricks to find and got reeeeeealy into world of warcraft an said “I DON WAN TO COOK ANYMORE. NOW I AM A FULLTIME ORC!” an then he left so then sum othr chef fella from the pits cube truck came an said “ill cook here as long as i can start fires wherever i want an i get a lifetim supply of cool hats.” an jon said ok.

wen i got ther sum fella sat me on a lil bench with some othr fellas who obvs wanted to be my frend but i didnt talk to them much cos i was watchin youtube vids on my smartphone (obvs). the fellas were also a bit lame an was talkin lots abuot othr places they went to eeat an all fancy thins they done an fellas they knew so i looked at them an said “HEY LOOK THERS GODRUN RAMSNEY” an they got all excitd an 1 of them smashed his heead into the wall cos he was so excited an then i said “hes not reeally ther yuo doofuses.” an becos they wer so excited it was obvius they wernt propr foodies like me. so they cried an left.

then i ordered sum food wich was a big meeat crisp with sum coleslaw on it wich was ok an i scoffed it but most of my teeth broke on it i thik an then also a egg wich had sum crisps on it an it was with a lil pile of meeal scruds wich was quit nic an then i had a steeak meeat (or mayb it was horse! why the long neigh beef?!?!?!?!LOL) wich had a sause on it wich was a whol garlic breead scrunched into a lil sause an then sum chippy things wich was ok.

after i scoffed it all i said to the fellas good job. an then let the fellas next to me (still crying lika baby) pay for watevr i ate cos i din reealy want to an also i didn have any money anyway an then went home an felt better abuot rachel coo. becos now that i don care abuot her anymore i can focus on other chicks. so look out “the world”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i give jons salt 78/94

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