Tag Archives: scoffing

Jase Rayner Interwev

jayrayner

heres sum facts abuot my fren jase: he got more than 1k twit followers. he 1 of the bigest time food guys in the land. he writs abuot food an stuff for the Granuaid (LOLOLOL!). he can get pizzahut buffet anytime of the day he want!! sumtimes he cant sleep cos hes thinkin abuot all the differnt typs of crips flavs ther are (note to jase: doritos?!?!?!). me an him chilled out on the internet an i aksed him a few qestions. here they are: he also wanted me to tell u tha yuo shuold buy his book called “A Greedy Man Goes to Greggs and Falls into a Ditch” or somthing. u can get it here:  http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Greedy-Man-Hungry-World/dp/0007237596/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1361440728&sr=8-3

Is it annoyin wen peeopl thik tha yuo are marco peer white?

Marco+Antonio+Sols+MAS3

Not half as annoying as it is for Marco when they mistake him for me.

Wich restrant in London do yuo thik is most lik the band mumford an sons?

One of those fried chicken shops in Peckham

 Why?

Because they both look like they could do with a good wash.

Who wud win a fight between yuo an timmers Hayward?

Hayward. He’s done time in the advertising business. That bitch is hard core.

timmers

Who wud play yuo in a film about AA gills life?

Marco because he’d need the work.

marcopeer

Wen yuo go on masterchef does Greg Wallspice sumtimes make yuo put yuor hand in his pocket whil he rocks out to men at work on his walkman?

He’s never asked but I can see in his eyes that he’d like me to. We don’t talk about it though.

Wat is yuor favurit sandwich besides the obvs ones (egg. Crisp. Mussles)

Marmite and cheese, though if you publish that I’ll deny it because my career will be over.

If a lobster is so nice an so speshial why does it mak yuor fingers smell lik yuo been scratchin a whales armpit after yuo eeaten it?

All the best things make your fingers small like that.

Do yuo sumtimes wish yuo cud swap places with Jezza Clarkson?

I’ve swapped with him, but Hammond got upset and started whining so we had to swap back again.

Hot dog or Burger? Wich 1 do yuo thik yuo cud keep in yuor pocket for longer befor yuor wife found out an tol yuo to throw it away?

I’ve had a hotdog in my jacket pocket for three months now, and my wife still hasn’t rumbled me. Next time we see each other I’ll let you touch my hot dog.

If yuo cud open yuor own restrant wud it be better than WokExpress?

No. I know my limits.

Wat got yuo started in food writin? Was it the deep pan pizza company?

Getting started was easy. It’s stopping that’s the problem. (The pizza company turned down my job application. I failed the psychometric test).

Wich of these London restrants is the bes?

white-trash-meat-licker-150x150

Meatlicker

dirty burger

Dirtey Burger

luckychip

Lucky Chip

SONY DSC

McDronlands?

You left off that fried Chicken place in Peckham which is like Mumford and Sons. That one’s the best.

mumchix

Is it true tha yuo used to be in a brakdansin crew calld “thugz 4 eva” but yuo were kicked out cos yuo ate every1s shreddys?

Where are you getting this stuff? After I hurt myself in the Deptford dance off incident I obtained a super injunction so nobody could ever discuss the damage I did to my coccyx.

Is yuor wife a better cook than Reny Redzepy?

She would be, but she hates foraging. Mostly we live on Weetabix and Sunny Delight in my house.

Is Reny Redzpey a better cook than tha fella from Dabooz?

That’s like Sophie’s choice, only with less of the genocide.

confused

Wich plac do yuo thik Rachel Koo would lik to go to more?

She’d be happy to go to either but she can’t get out of her tiny kitchen because there’s a camera crew in the way.

Do yuo actshually lik eeatin hog an cow an sheep scraps lik ther inside rank bits, or do yuo jus do tha to look lik mor of a cool foody?

No, not at all, but it’s in my contract that I have to, and a guy’s got to make a living.

Wat is the plot of yuor novel?

I can’t tell you yet, except that it involves lots of lard, rubber tubing and a Josper Grill. It’s aimed right at the mummy porn market

jasper

Do yuo sumtimes wish tha yuo wer a bloggr so tha food peeopl wud give yuo los of free stuff an invit yuo to cool places an yuo wuldn hav to tell evry1 tha yuo got it for free or say to yuor boss that the deep fryer at KFC invited yuo to eeat as many family buckets as yuo want if yuo just Tweet about it?

All the time. At night I lie awake tossing, and dreaming of being Chris Pople or, if I’m feeling really dirty, the Critical Couple. Those people have it all and I have nothing.

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