Tag Archives: yuggers

Brun Daddy

brun daddy

after i wen thru the secret door in the back of the fridge in lilos me an my new friend Drickens wernt even cold at all. i wasnt tha surprised that i wasnt because i dont really feel the weather tha much becaus of my muscles an my collection of beanees, string vests, gilets, doorags, small shorts and fur coats but i was mor surprised tha the small muscly hair fella Drickens (who was my new best frend) wasnt shivering or trying to soil himself to make him warm like my mums dog knuckles.

Drickens – who wasnt in the pocket of my dungarees anymor – look pretty happy so i said “why arent we cold if we just in a fridge?” an he said “because we not in a fridge anymore” and i said “where are we then?” and he laughed an pointed at something just behind my head. i turned around an saw a normal borin old tree tha i couldve easily climb if i wanted to but i jus didnt want to. “thas a boring tree an i could easily climb it Drickens” i said to Drickens an then he said “maybe you should have a closer look Yuggers. Also what is that in your pocket? is that hummus?” an i laughed cos i remember tha back when i was in lilos i got a handful just in case for the bus home.

then i looked closer at the tree an realised tha insteead of pineapples an butternuts an crips it was growin ostrich eggs the size of a mirror balls an i instantl jumped up, done a 180 an then went to get as many eggs as i cud get into my hands. i was so excited that i started rapping the lyrics to “Gravel Hut” wich is a song by my new favourit rapper GrugMubbelz####^^#

i picked up a whol 40 of the eggs an was just abuot to kick a few into the sun jus for fun when Drickens ran over an was crying like a lil baby or something an sayin “Yuggers no you shouldn do tha!” an i said “why not you dweeb?” an he said “jus cos tha tree got so many ostrich eggs it don mean tha you should take them. do you even want to eat tha many ostrich eggs?” an i said “trash my frash, Ash” wich is a line from Gravel Hut.

Then Drickens got scared an said we should go cos of tha eggs tha i took an he started running towards a well tha was as wide as a bus an he jumped in an he said follow me quickly! an i said “okay you dweeb and why don you tell me wher we are anyway?” an he said “WERE IN THE DEEP WEB YUGNIChH! THE DEEP WEB!!”

an i said ive been to the deep web before (cos ive been ONLINE) an then we fell for 40 minuts until it was so dark tha i couldnt see anythin apart from my glow in the dark tattoos.

then we cam to the end of the well an then Drickens said “through here” an we went through a small door an we came out into a toilet in a small basement an i said “wher are we now?” an he said we at the restrant Brun Daddy wich is a noodle place. an i said ok an then we went upstairs wher ther was lots of loud music an lots of people running around for no reason an everyone pretendin to be happy but also angry an some fella came to me an said do you want to eat somethin an i said “no thaks i stil got sum hummus” an then Drickens looked scared an i said “why you scared you small hairy doofus” an he stopped shakin for just a second and looked at me with his scared lame eyes.

then he said “somethin else came through the door from the deep web Yugnich. something dangerous.”

I wasnt scared at all but Drickens didnt look like he had seen the Undertaker on a bad day.

i give Brun Daddy 18/40

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foods for to have of the WORLD cup

every 7 years ther a competison called the WORLD cup wher all the countrys in the world (except for wales) get togethr and play a coupl of games of footers to show every1 how good and happy with every1 they are. it normally a big party at my house for it an more than 3 people come round becos i always do somethin speacial lik buy more than 1 bag of plain nuts an crack open a new bottl of milk. i think this year for the BIG FINAL i wil be havin a party in the biggest NCP car park i can think of (in warrwik) an any1 who comes will get a free breead bin an also be able to watch the special featurs from the DVD of couples retreeat 2. my frieend chudney will also bring his radio so tha he can listen to the BIG FOOTBAL an let every1 kno who won. if anyone wants, they can also put a wash on. last time we dun this it was reeal excitin. espesially wen andy murray won it an shot his gun into the air becos he was so happy.

i been thinkin tha maybe other peeopl wud lik to have big parties to, but then i thought “what if othr peopl don kno about other foods of the world like i do.” so her ar som things that you can read and then pretend that you already knew it.

foods for to have from other cuontries:

brazil

nimir

brazil is the smmallest country in the world, but they have more than a million of footbal players an some of them are very gud. ther best player is Nimir, who used to be a ultimatte frisbee player. then he decided he was bored of it an sum fella made him play footbal instead. in brazil the most popular food is rice pudding. heres my recipe:

brazil rice pudding

1 x rice trough

boil some rice until it is rice pudding.

argentina

mussy

1 of the best footbal players ever came from argentina an his name was mudadona. he was as big as a tree and didnt hardly ever smell of eggs. today the best player they have is called mussy. he is a BIGTIME food guy, and his favurit thin to do when its not kickin footbals into the goal is to make a big stew. his favurit stew? easy: salt stew. next tim tha mussy is doin a big goal, why don yuo make this?

salt stew

1 x salt bucket

1 x some water

1 x as much flour as your can fit in yuor pocket

1 x as much hummus as you can fit in yuor pocket (lots)

put the salt and the wter in a pot an boil it up for a few hours.

enjoy

uruguay

swariz

this yeear england peopl don lik  uruguay becos of that they are usin too much of the internet and slowing the england teams web times down. mr wayne ronty (who our best player is) said that he cudnt even get onto askjeeves. And he was needed to get on to askjeeves cos he had to search abuot how the best way to get a goal is in the footbal. the player swariz is from uruguay and he is always ONLINE. the biggest chatroom in uruguay is called “chatattack” an sumtimes ther are more than 40 people in it at any 1 time. the best food from uruguay is called boiled ham. here is my recipe:

boiled ham

1 x ham

microwav it until it is lukewarm (make sure it isnt got LOADS of mould on it)

hollland

rubbens

holland is a country tha used to be a island until japan decided to build a bridge to it. now it is not a island now and is prolly the most famous country in the world for sushi which is old fish tha is VERY smelly but not completly rancid. the big player on the holland football team is a fella called Rubbens. he is extra good because he eats the most sushi of anyone in the team and also because he has got the spikyest hair in all of the WORLD cup. here is my recipe for a egg sandwich

egg sandwich

1 x egg

3 x bread

boil the egg. put it in the bread (no shells)

yum

germany

shwiggles

germany is very well known for the quality of ther milk. shwiggles is a goal guy from germany an he HATES milk.

milk

1 x milk

COME ON THE LADS OF FOR THE FOOTBALL!!!

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The Clives Club

clivesclub

it was jus eeaster time which is good cos it my favurit holiday (obvs!?) obvs it my fav cos it all abuot eggs an i reeally love eggs. but also i don reealy lik it cos it mostly choc eggs an not reeal eggs an tha a bit like a notgood joke like wen i tol my fren Royne tha i had all his dogs an cats an hamsters an thins (an he got ALOT of them cos he sum big nerd an stuff) an i lockd them in a car an drove them into the sun an he was all scard cos he say “YUGNICH YUO NOT ALUOD TO TAKE ANY ANIMALS OUT OUT OF THE PETSHOP ANYTIME EVER!!” an i lauged cos i said i just joshin they not reealy in my car i don even hav a car an yuo cant even drive a car into the sun cos it cant fly an no1 knos wher the sun actualy is anyway. an then we both lauged alot except he didn cos he was still shuotin thins like “I know yuo don have a car but wher are all the animals” and “did yuo open all the cages” an wat did i tell yuo abuot playin wrestlin with the hamsters yugnich!” but i didnt reealy care cos i knew he was jus angry cos i got ole Royne with a good josh. if yuo reeading this then LOL ROYNE! but he got me back to cos whenevr i go to work he always say to me yuo not aluod comin here anymor. josher.

so cos i din hav to gone to work cos of Royne;s joshing i thuoght i wud go get sum nic food in london at my frens Itsacs place in shohdatch an it calld clive’s club. ther 2 fellas ther who done all the waiterin an goofin with customers an stuff an they ar both called Clive an wen they wer yuonger they used to go to the same google maps fan group an then they started doin ther own google maps fan club in ther house an they called it The Clives Club an Itsac used to come aruond an he started brining snacks aruond for evryones like boiled eggs an grabags an stuff an they said “shud we start a cool restrant in a old museum or sumthin” an they said yes an then they chest pumped an then it was open.

I wen ther an then got a nice lil table in one of the old museum rooms an then i said “bring me sum burgers or sumin Clive” an they said okay an went off an got me sum food but it wasn burgers but it was stil quite good but i little mad at itsac cos he obvs stolen all my ideas for good foodstuffs. first he bruoght me sum lil chicken nuggs (yuo gotta give it to chicken nuggs. yuo just GOTTA!) an then sum lil red carrots wit sum spicy burger sauce an sum gravel which was quite good but not as good as the chick nugz. then they put sum ham in the microwave for me wich was nic an sweeaty wich i scoffed reeal quick an then i munched sum lil fish pile an then sum othr muscly fish with sum green stuff an green crips. then i did a lil bit of pressups an then they brung me a nice kebab wich they put on a plate an made it all fancy wich was quit good an then the last thin was a plat of sum hummus an sum gravel an sum cereeal wich was reeal good an i scoffed it all reeal quick.

then it was all good an fnished an i thuoght that quit nice 2 clives an itsac but now i gotta go home cos i jus rememered tha i had almost all the animals from the petshop in my bath an Royne is prolly made an also my mum wud prolly not be happy abuot me cloggin up the bath again. oh oh.

i give Clives Club 54/60 cos it was all my fav foods like gravel an chick nuggs an ham an stuff.

 

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